Recently, I had the experience of spending a night at the Hôtel des Mille Collines, the very hotel where Paul Rusesabagina saved over 1,200 lives during the genocide. Walking through its corridors, I felt the weight of history pressing down on every step. I spoke with locals and listened to survivors’ courage, fear, and resilience stories. What shocked me most was how, despite the lingering trauma, Rwanda has emerged as a united nation—not Hutu or Tutsi, but as one people. Today, the deadly “us vs. them” divide has given way to a shared “us,” a collective identity that underscores the resilience of the human spirit.
Hotel Rwanda is based on the true story of Paul Rusesabagina, a hotel manager who sheltered refugees from the Rwandan genocide. In 1994, over 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus were brutally murdered by Hutu extremists in a meticulously orchestrated campaign of ethnic cleansing. For Tutsis, their very identity became a death sentence.
In the movie, the young child’s plea—“I promise not to be Tutsi anymore”—reveals the unbearable weight of this reality. It is a moment of pure survival instinct, an attempt to escape danger by shedding the identity that has made them a target. This scene captures the human cost of the “us vs. them” dynamic, showing how deeply such divisions can penetrate even the most innocent and vulnerable minds.
The Basis of Us vs. Them
The division of the world into "us" and "them" is deeply rooted in human biology and evolutionary history. Early humans lived in small, tightly bonded groups, where cooperation and trust within the group were essential for survival. To protect resources and ensure safety, humans evolved a strong preference for in-group members and a corresponding suspicion of outsiders or the out-group. These instincts, which were adaptive in ancient environments, still shape human behavior today.
In Rwanda, colonial powers like Belgium manipulated these biological tendencies for their own interests. By classifying the population into Hutu and Tutsi and privileging one group over the other, they implanted the seeds of division. Decades later, political propagandists weaponized these divisions, portraying the Tutsi as dangerous outsiders to justify their extermination.
For the child in Hotel Rwanda, the consequences of this manipulation are clear: their identity as a Tutsi places them squarely in the out-group, making them a target of genocidal violence. Their desperate promise “not to be Tutsi anymore” reflects the primal survival mechanism of seeking safety by aligning with the dominant in-group, even if it means rejecting their identity.
Psychologically, the child’s plea illustrates the profound trauma that results from being labeled as “other.” Social identity theory teaches us that a significant part of our self-concept is derived from the groups we belong to. When one’s group identity becomes a source of danger, individuals experience a deep psychological conflict, as their sense of self becomes confused with fear, shame, and rejection.
In moments of extreme fear, the brain’s amygdala—the center of emotional and fear processing—takes over, driving survival-focused behaviors. The child’s plea reflects this instinct: a desperate attempt to appease the perpetrators by dissociating from their own identity. But this act of survival comes at a steep cost.
Healing in Modern Rwanda: The One Us
During my visit to Rwanda, I witnessed the extraordinary resilience of the Rwandan people. Nearly three decades after the genocide, the nation has undergone a remarkable transformation. Rwandans no longer identify as Hutu or Tutsi; instead, they embrace a collective identity as Rwandans. This shift has occurred through government policies, community reconciliation programs, and a shared commitment to unity.
The gacaca courts, for instance, brought perpetrators and survivors together in a unique form of restorative justice, allowing communities to confront the past while working toward healing. Meanwhile, national memorials, such as the Kigali Genocide Memorial, ensure that the tragedy is never forgotten and serve as a reminder of the dangers of division.
While the scars of the genocide remain, Rwanda’s emphasis on shared humanity has helped rebuild its social fabric. Society has embraced a powerful collective, "us," rejecting the divisions that once tore it apart. Yet, as I learned from speaking with survivors, healing does not mean forgetting. The trauma persists, and moments like the child’s plea in Hotel Rwanda serve as reminders of how easily societies can fracture when "us vs. them" thinking is allowed to fester.
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A Child’s Plea, a Nation’s Redemption
“I promise not to be Tutsi anymore” captures the destructive power of division and the human cost of othering. They reveal the primal survival instincts that drive individuals to seek belonging in the face of mortal danger and the devastating psychological toll of being labeled as “other.”
Yet Rwanda’s remarkable journey offers hope. By rejecting the false boundaries that once divided them and adopting a shared identity, the people of Rwanda have shown the world that healing is possible. The scars of the past remain, but they no longer define the nation. Rwanda’s story is a witness to the resilience of the human spirit and a reminder of the power of unity in the face of even the deepest wounds.
Shake Hands with the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda by Roméo Dallaire
We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed with Our Families by Philip Gourevitch
The Antelope’s Strategy: Living in Rwanda After the Genocide by Jean Hatzfeld
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